It's 8:30...i'm at school...getting ready for the day to start and kids are coming in...and realize my tummy is grumbling because I hadn't eaten yet. Can you imagine? Me? forgetting to eat? Unbelievable. There are lots of reasons I like to eat. Tastes good, bored, mad at myself, stressed, anxious. But when I'm really down and kinda depressed...I don't eat. So many things are just not what I want them to be in my life right now and I am not sure what direction I want to take. Or rather, which direction God wants me to take. My parents have been wonderful, but living there is only temporary. Even the past week I wasn't even in a room, but on a bed in the basement. Not to say it was bad, just evidence that I don't seem to have a place. I don't seem to fit in anywhere. Not that I ever did anyway. My roomate and I are getting a house...all the way out in Aurora. Far away from school, far away from my family. and it's not even going to be my house...it's her house. I want a place of my own. A place to decorate and live and enjoy. So, I'm going to get a house while my boyfriend lives in Florida? He's actually encouraging it..he doesn't look at it from that stand point, just that I would have equity and that's a good thing.
Ok...to end on a good note and remind myself that life really doesn't suck. I have my teaching, and volleyball. I have wonderful parents who are there for me, and a mom, that when i was down and frustrated last night hung out with me, made a fire and we just chatted. I am very lucky that God has blessed me with such a wonderful gift in her. And now my students are in here and their teacher is crying. Luckily they are boys and only 5 and don't take notice of such things...*L*
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